Today.

Sorry I’ve been gone awhile.  I’ve still been writing just not posting.  Anyway I thought it important to post something so that everyone knows that I’m still alive.  It’s been busy so I haven’t had a lot of time to process all of the stuff swirling in my head.  I’m happy though and that is amazing!  A lot of my life has been spent angry.  I’m not sure when that creeped in but probably sometime in high school I started to feel the injustice of everything around me.  The truth is that I had a great childhood.  My parents were and are amazing!  I had little reason for angst at that age but I think I needed it to feel alive.  And that’s something I’m realizing now too as I’m feeling ok and I’m not waging any major wars.  I feel like I need to find something to get fired up about.  I’m sure it’s just around the corner because if your looking it’s really not that hard to find something to make you angry.  But what is it about anger or frustration that makes me feel alive?   It’s like pain is the only thing that really makes me feel like I have a cause.  It’s a force that drives me and to be honest I love it. 

But the holding pattern here for the moment is good.  We have great friends, great family, a great home………..Thank you God for a bit of rest!

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~ by Stephen Baker on May 17, 2008.

3 Responses to “Today.”

  1. You find anger addictive?

  2. I am going to be in Portland this month

  3. Yeah, I was extremely angry in high school, and to some degree college as well.

    By the way, if you haven’t checked flogging recently, there’s a guest post from Buzz Goertzen himself. I’m not even joking.

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