My mind is racing 

And my heart is pounding

But I’m still losing
What am I trying to prove anyway
This gaping hole is obvious
And the larger it gets
The wider the eyes that stare

Maybe that’s why I’m losing
When the deficit is clear
I cover it up with BOLD words 
And megaphone speeches

Even with quivering vocal cords
I pretend that every word is truth
Even with tears blinding my eyes
I want you to believe that I’m okay
Even with the loss of blood 
Staining the ground where I stand
I want you to think I’m not lost
And that I’m not dying
But I’m already dead

What I really need is for you to 
Find me here on the ground –
Without even the strength to kneel
I need you to hold me up
I’m a liar – A sinner – A skeptic
And what I need now is to be healed
And honest words to uncover
The horrible truth
And gentle hands to uncover
My self inflicted wounds
And even the scars of my battles

Oh let me be very clear now
I’m not okay – I’m prideful 
I’m hateful and I’m losing

Yeah I’m Losing 


~ by Stephen Baker on March 2, 2008.

One Response to “Losing”

  1. You are such a good poet!

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