The Story…..

I’ve just realized that my last posts have been all lyrics and poetry and they leave a lot of you wondering “what the hell is going on up there!?”  I take it for-granted that some of you I get to talk to and share all that’s happening.  I think the first thing I must tell is that we have found a church called Ethnos.  It’s been really good to find a church that feels like home but the most important thing is the people.  We have been digging with several of the families there and it seems that just that is changing our lives.  The community aspect that we are always looking for is lived out really well and they have accepted us right in like we have always been there.  It’s pretty amazing but the most amazing thing about it is that it has allowed us to reach a point where we can be broken “safely”.  When I say that I mean that we have some people around us to help pick us up and help change our minds about church and God.  The down side of being broken however is that it can become somewhat violent.  My job has not turned out completely like we thought it would.  Really in a financial way and it’s started getting a bit tough in that arena.  This is an area that God chooses to break us I think because now I can’t rely on myself any longer.  Colleen started looking for work and the first job that looked really promising fell through.  Then when she started digging into other jobs she broke her foot and has had to be somewhat laid up so no job.  I’ve looked for 2nd jobs but no one is hiring.  In order to get through this God is going to have to show up and we are going to get to see it happen in a very real way.  In this time though I feel exposed.  I feel like these layers are being torn off.  Ones that really need to come off.  What is left right now is very raw.  I’m not sure if it will continue or if this is it?  Really however this all turns out we are being changed.  I  heard a song yesterday and the chorus is right where I’m at:

Take my fist
And hold it in your hands

Take my rage

And bury my pain

I need this.  I need to be broken.  It’s scary to admit that but right now there is nowhere else to go…………………….


~ by Stephen Baker on February 23, 2008.

2 Responses to “The Story…..”

  1. It’s a scary place, but if you think about it, being nowhere else but where God can work is the best place in the world to be.

    why won’t you love me
    why won’t you hold me

  2. I am glad to hear that you have found a good community but sorry to hear about the difficult process you are going through. You are right, being broken is great but who really wants it? Although we are on the other side of the world right now, we are learning similar things. The layers are coming off and I love it and hate it. In the end it will make us better for others who need their own process of braking and I guess that is the point of community.

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