New Thoughts and Challenges

This move to Portland has already started to take turns I didn’t expect.  Good ones for sure.  I am playing more music than I ever had the opportunity to do back in SoCal which is huge for me.  But here is the thing that means the most:  I’ve had some amazing conversations about church and it’s again reshaping my view and my role. 

This post is going to be contradictory to my last post.  But maybe this serves as an insight to the process my mind is taking to become healthy again.  Maybe you can see my mind change and maybe you can get behind something that means something with me.

Where I’ve come from was a tear it down mentality which maybe for awhile is an OK thing to feel.  Eventually though I think as Christians we have to embrace the roots of what church is.  I really believe that part of my “Pre-Planned” mission here is to create places for people to worship and find God.  Maybe even change minds about what it looks like to live like that. 

My new challenge: Could it be possible that I need to endure some of what I can’t stand about the church so that I have the opportunity to change minds?  Or maybe even allow mine to be changed?  How do we breath new life into old church?  Is the answer a new church?  I think not.  A good friend of mine and I have been talking about the concept of endurance.  My mind has jumped immediately to my own life and my idea of tearing it down and starting over.  That’s not the way to accomplish this.  Another church for people that hate church is not the answer.  New life in a dead church might be.  And how do I get there?  I think I endure and respect those that have a different idea and through that gain the respect to speak my mind and pose new questions born out of my journey.   

But what do I do about myself – how do I make sure that I’m healthy because honestly right now I’m not.  All of this banging my head and questioning God has left me quite jaded.  I’m a little reluctant to follow this new challenge because part of me has a hard time believing it.  As you may have read in my last post I’m turned off by most anything with a “Christian” lable on it.  I think the answer is finding people to do it with.  I think the answer is making sure that I’m with the people that can challenge me and figure out how to reconcile what is wrong in my head.  Unfortunately when you start toying with the idea of tearing it all down, God sometimes goes with it.  And without meaning for this to be the case this is what has happened.  But contrary to what must be popular belief – I am not lost.  I have just needed this chance to be wrong.  It sounds strange maybe however I needed to be wrong and go through pain to find truth and I am starting to see a glimmer of that truth.

This story is not over yet! 

~ by Stephen Baker on October 18, 2007.